Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
