im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?