3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
