We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
