Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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