It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
