One girl and one boy is just not enough.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
