I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
