If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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