Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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