So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
