Three words: puerto rican gang bang
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
