I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
