I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
