So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
