I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
