so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
