Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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