Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
