my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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