I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
