Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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