I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
one two three fourrrrnication!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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