Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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