just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
