Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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