she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
In America we eat man semen.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
