We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
