someone owes me an orgasm
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
