You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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