well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
