If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
