Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
