well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
