Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize