its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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