Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
