he shaved USA in his pubs
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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