You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
