everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
