i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
