I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
