she was so not down for the gang bang
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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