i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
