yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
