yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
