Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
