Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
