Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
