you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
