Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
