she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
