Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
