I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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