I'm going to jail i love you
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.