I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?