Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.