I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.