I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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