Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My life is pants optional.
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