Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
