# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
