community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
